Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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