What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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