A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Tall asians

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops