What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

identical jokes get different votes.

Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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