Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops