A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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