how man

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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