A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Golf.

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Fine, ladies first.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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