What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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There's my tractor.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops