Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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