Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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