What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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