- Anti Joke

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Your mom is not fat!

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f*** n*

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

Your mom is not fat!

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

Your mom is not fat!

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f*** n*