catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops