roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops