Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A young baby died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops