Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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