How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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