When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops