What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I went to school. Then I came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops