How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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