Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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Large 4

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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