Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock *open*

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Advertiser: Charlies Tax---------- Advertiser: OMG, who are you... Pedobear: Hello kids, come in my taxi(Van) :D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops