What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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k

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops