would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

Where can I apply for janitor school?

i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation