What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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