Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

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69

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops