Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Men

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops