How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops