Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadillac going over a cliff? It was my cadillac

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops