How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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