Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Christ is a conspiracy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops