How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Good job, son.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Women's Rights

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Wenis Penis

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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