What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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