Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops