My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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