Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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they're dead. idiot.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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