How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops