A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Once upon a time a was born

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops