- Anti Joke

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Asians.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

pull my finger (farts)

Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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