Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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