what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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