Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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