What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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