Barbara Streisand

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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andrew wagner

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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