whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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lol

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Beka has AIDS

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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