What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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So a seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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taking out the trash... at night

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops