Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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