How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

Why did you step on my watermelon?

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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