What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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How old are you? 7

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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