How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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Atheism

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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