What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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justin beiber sucks

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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