Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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