Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops